Confessions Of A Broken Heart...

Fuck, why is it so hard? To let go and just move on? I mean, I wasn't loved, if I was I wouldn't be in this shitty condition. I've not shaved, I'm in a mess. Moodless on hari raya. Angry & sad feelings keep coming back & forth. I thought I moved on and vowed to make it better. But why is it so fucking hard? Is this even normal to say out loud? I can't sleep, I wonder too much. I day dream about how things are right now. Someone take this all away from me. Its so annoying, it just won't go away. I'm dealing with my inner demon. Fighting hard to get back to the right path. I wish non of this happened. I wish I didn't know how to open up & trust, at least, the pain wouldn't be so great. I sleep with a broken heart everyday. I wake up like a zombie. I'm barely talking to people. I'm keeping to myself. I just don't know what's happening to me right now. Are these retribution for all the wrong I've done in my life? How bout the good I've done.

Everytime I'm close to achieving something, I end up either blowing it up or just losing it. Call me crazy, but I think I need help with this one. I just need someone to take me out of my misery. Take me away from all this. I need a guardian angel at this point. I'm only human. I just need to be away from all this. I need a peace of mind. Give me that at least. It hurts so so bad. My heart is really hurting. Please Allah, I need to be at peace. I don't want to go through this damn turmoil..... I used to be the strongest individual my friends have ever known. But now I seem like a tiny little timid mouse who lost his courage, all hope & faith.

I don't want no broken heart... No More...